Today I have asked Ash from Smash Attack Reads to join us. Ash is going to share her view on bullying from a social workers perspective.
I
haven’t been a social worker for very long, but I've learned about bullying
during my education, internships and jobs. I want to preface this article by
saying that I am not an expert in the field. These are my thoughts about what I've learned and witnessed. I may ramble, but I hope I can offer a little
insight.
While
I believe the victims are of the utmost importance and we definitely need to
protect these children, I also wish that society paid more attention to the
bullies themselves, and why they bully others in the first place. Research has
uncovered many reasons why children bully other children. One factor is that children see
violence or bullying happen in their own homes, or experience it personally
from their parents or siblings.
If a child is being bullied at home, s/he may gravitate towards that behavior
as a means of releasing emotion from their own bullying experiences. It can
also be a power and control thing because the child feels absolutely powerless
in their home environment, and therefore they exert power and control over
someone else. Lastly, s/he may have simply learned that is the way to handle
their emotions. Social learning theory states
that people learn about life, how to express themselves and how to behave by
observing others,
so it is very important that every adult who interacts with a child reinforces
that violence is unacceptable and provide more appropriate, healthy ways to
problem solve and emote.
Bullies
may also project feelings about their own perceived faults onto someone who
they wish they could be more like. Violent neighborhoods may
reinforce bullying behavior. Impoverished neighborhoods usually have less
adequate schools, and therefore, the education levels are going to be lower. In these neighborhoods, social
skills may not properly develop and therefore, violence is the go-to problem
solving technique. While working with children in impoverished neighborhoods in
Miami, FL, I recognized a severe deficit in social skills and understanding the
basics of human interaction, in general. You know what else I noticed? The
parents had the same problems, probably because they were raised in a similar
environment. These are the types of societal problems that I am unsure we will
ever eradicate; however, they need to be addressed when dealing with children. The
entire family system needs to be examined and treated.
Bullying
behavior may also be reinforced when it is ignored by school personnel,
community and family. Parents and close family members have a huge
responsibility when it comes to bullying, as they are always the first
educators for a child. When a parent is contacted by a school regarding their
own child bullying another, it is probably not an easy thing to swallow. However, don’t take offense. Use that moment
to recognize that your child is screaming for help. Don’t write it off as a phase. Don’t ignore
it. Don’t allow it to fester and get worse. Open the lines of communication.
On
another note, I want to thank the authors who write these types of situations
into their books. It really does help young people to realize they are not
alone. Children, especially adolescents, are wary of adults and do not trust
many, so media is sometimes a better way to communicate important life lessons
to them. These stories raise awareness and really give children and adolescents
an opportunity to get in touch with their emotions and express them
appropriately. That is a skill all of
us could work on.
Smash
blogs about books and bookish things at Smash
Attack Reads.
She enjoys paranormal romance, urban fantasy, horror, and young adult books,
especially those that dabble in angel or Greek mythology, have a dystopian
setting or involve zombies. A social worker in real life, Smash also reads
“tough issue” books from time to time.
I really really love this post...
ReplyDeleteTrue to bullying even at home...
It happened...